things that never happened... maybe.

1. In my crib, my aunts and mom in the hallway light standing over me talking. But my aunts are deaf.

2. Me eating worms whole. I took a lot of antibiotics growing up.

3. My first kiss was a cave-of-a-mouth French, I got up and ran away the second it happened.

4. I missed the game winning shot meant for someone else. I said I didn’t know.

5. I broke up with a girl who said I was fat… but really she just drew a dinosaur with chalk and put my name under it.