as the dew bestirs
the birdsong
It is simple it is complex it is
The resonance
of Capricious spring storms
my very own yellow wood
my only constant
emotion
oh two
10 by 10 by 2 // Sometimes 9 sometimes // 1 never 0 // inter enter wonder // 3 never 0 // always oh two // this in all things // the gift // thank you
we can do anything
this is a restaurant called Pink Mama
its in Paris
4 floors
this is a restaurant called Pink Mama
i can do anything
i
we
they
you
us
me
them
how much of me and you
is we and they
how do we react
to them and us
i are i
you are you
we are we
or
i, me, you, us
The Wind
imaginary dancers
closing their eyes
to see
imaginary dancers
finally dancing.
art
so much more, so much less than I think.
enough
what would be enough?
I feel like there’s been a lot of words around contentment. Rest. Present. Awake. In my own world I usually say, ‘I’m trying to be content, I’m trying to be present…’ I wonder if my friend Sally would say “do you want the right answer or the zen answer?”:
be content
be present
i try often… there is nothing wrong with trying… if anything what a beautiful stone. I think I’m learning there are times to try and times to do or be. Simply.
I’m trying to be present
well then you’re not being present.
I’m trying to learn contentment
…be content.
How?
be.
you see?
we are trying to do or be so many things. In this age, with Instagram and so on, I’m sure it’s even more insane. The Try Department is raking it in.
When I look at people older than me and look at their story, I see it as them doing something, I see it as them trying…
Ha!
I see their ‘try’s’ as doing something.
”oh that? I tried it, it didn’t work out”
for some reason I see that as simply doing. Where when I try something, it’s in my brain most of the time.
I wonder if that’s it…
im just a big ol’ Day dreamer. Head in the clouds. Designing and building a world that could be but otherwise doesn’t exist. Then I get bummed when it doesn’t come into physical fruition.
another ha!
BE present
DO
CREATE a try
if anything our grandkids will enjoy the stories.
real life
this is real life. Like, really.
i battle the third-person narrative of my own life; the ego. I create films that make me the hero, the victim, the love interest. Some days it’s 30 second short films, others a Natgeo behind the scenes A with the bonus B roll.
While I’m watching the B roll of my own life, oil paintings frame themselves and get hung over my dining room table covered in bowls of fruit.
most likely still shots of my greatness.
then, once in a while, when the wind is just right, I get it right. I shut down the projector. I burn the paintings. I see from behind my eyes and accept whatever it is that’s being offered to me.
Crazy: that is real life.
No.
this is real life.
and this, I’m thankful.
shut it down y’all.
roses
It’s a crazy floor to live on. Below you is retail, a coffee shop, maybe a shoe store. Whatever it is, it’s a floor of consistency. Business. Shopping. It’s a floor that has no questions.
Above you is the two-story apartments, a rooftop deck, horticulture, it’s a floor you would love to live in. You know it’s not needed, but needless to say, you would dig it.
So now you’re in a small apartment, living above goods you would like to buy, below where you want to be.
Whichever way you sleep, you’re facing desire.
So I guess the whole question is:
What is your desire?
more? better?
i guess I know I don’t need more or better, that’s the floor I’m currently living on, somewhere between needing nothing and wanting something.
Its a strange desire, to have no desire.
I want passion, I want hope,
where’s that fit in?.
i can’t say too much of my control has brought me here… my steps or actions have been gut/heart/immediate need to act.
and I must say: I love my life.
so to change things now wouldn’t make much sense. Enjoy the roses.
enjoy the roses.
breath
inside: my chest awaits/the river of life pulls through/falling and filling each crevice of dry earth/as my body seeks its ground/the lungs expand to invite then pull all that God has given/inside: our heart beats/anticipating the body’s first and final breath.
01.15.19
This time. I thought I’d do things differently.
Some times. I thought I’d do things differently.
its not a game, I’m referring to
nor a shame, I’m deferring you
life, if a replay,
is a try or a ‘one day’
when you know there’s a world, yet choose to stay put. or when you know you could, and fight not to get hurt. is it a problem, meaning this is the solution? or we just swallow it whole and say ‘one day’. again. the allusion.
then we have to decide, if writing your thoughts, is it so tried. by all, by many, by Cindy, by Carli, by Dave, by Joe, by Laura and Charlie. we’re all, with our minds, trying to grow. Tall. Wide. Open. Out. or maybe it’s in, inside, within. heart. mind. we’re all just trying.
and I know, Seuss, what he’s saying. no that’s not you, I’ll fly high where the boom bands are playing.
good idear.
What’s a good idear?
is the idear itself something we can distinguish upon the Benjamin Franklin scale of positive/negative, good/bad?
or is it the reaction, our perception, the idear’s idear of what the idear is...
what am I saying? I’m saying an idear has no weight in itself. The weight is created, often times uncontrolled.
What the hell am I saying???
if you have an idea, the only scale that you should weigh that bad boy on is yours. the scale of you, all that it entails...
that’s a good idear
Comfortable?
how comfortable is too comfortable? how much discomfort must I endure to feel the switch from discomfort to comfort?
Let’s journey downward...
“Living in your comfort zone will be comfortable, doing everything solo will kill you.”
Here’s my thinking: focus on the aspects of your vocation/life/vision that make you the most money or bring you the most accomplishment or just plain ol’ joy. Within those aspects, find the tasks that are the most comfortable to you, or the tasks you are naturally the best at. Focus on those... now, delegate or ask for help or hire or pay someone or bring in a partner for the other tasks that make you uncomfortable.
all of a sudden, you’re exponentially growing: you are only focusing on the tasks you are comfortable with to accomplish the jobs that make you the most money/bring the most joy, all the while, the tasks you are uncomfortable with are getting accomplished by someone else.
so wait, is that you living in your comfort zone?
i think so... right now, in my brain, today, I wonder if I SHOULD live in my comfort zone. Really, I need to learn how to find others who’s comfort zones are not my own, then learn how to partner up.
“Living in your comfort zone will be comfortable, doing everything solo will kill you.”
It’s not hard to grow, to change, or become better, at the very things that I enjoy or am comfortable with. So ‘stretching’ yourself to grow could very well be a myth/Ego/Generational hand-me-down...
So: enjoy what I’m comfortable doing? And by doing what I’m comfortable with I will continue to do them? Thus, resulting in becoming better at that thing that brings me the most accomplishment and joy? So I’m so freaking comfortable and happy doing what i love to do?
life has a sneaky way of sneaking up on you to create the life you want to live.
interesting.
tap in.
Love.
its not my love. or your love.
its not individual. if it was, we wouldn’t love this phone.
tap in. 1800COLLECT if you have to.
Chaos
eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.
eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.
eyes up.eyes up.eyes up.
eyes up.
Start
…‘And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, [humanity] will have discovered fire.’
Start.
Just start.
Right now.
For 3 seconds.
Maybe 2
Or 1.
Start.
I think.
I don’t think sometimes...
sometimes I always think... most of the time I overthink.
Anyone else out there with me? In overthinking that is, not that it’s constant, but it does happen a lot. It’s something that sneaks up on me, well, not like a kitty cat, but like a relative that you forgot was eating in your living room after 3 days. Or maybe it’s like how the sun rises and sinks every single day, we forget it exists really until we choose to believe it was told to do so... or maybe it wasn’t told, like it was just something that happened one... day??? Doubt it was night, haha, the sun wouldn’t be up in the night. That’s funny...
Anyone else out there overthink sometimes?
Hopefully so, I wouldn’t want to be the only one who overthinks, not that it would be end-all but you know what I mean...
Interesting
Is there anything more wonderful than wonder? Anything more adventurous than adventure? Anything scarier than being scared? Anything more interesting than being interested?
“you’re interesting to the extent that you’re interested” -j goldbloom/s meisner
Get interested. If you don’t know how, wake up. If you don’t know how, start breathing.
4 7 8
In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8
why do those numbers and breathing help?
Interesting.
Distance makes the heart grow yonder.
My mom has always told me: 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder'. I always responded, 'no ma, distance makes the heart grow yonder'... Most likely the conversation was about me missing my girlfriend or some drama that needed to be flushed down the toilet just as fast as everything else we throw down there.
Lately I've found myself creating distance with a lot of things, myself for one/social media/thoughts of more.
I thought I'd be somebody, and realize I am.
Thats basically what it always is for me, thinking of more, pushing hard to achieve the mythical goal thats been placed or conjured in front of me. Then I realize, I made it because i'm making it.
Kris, what does this have to do with hair?
nothing.
Be you, you did it, breathe.
k