I remember my uncle Jack asking, “hey Kris, you ever play 52 card pickup?” I easily responded ‘no’ as he flicked 52 cards in the air to settle as chaos on the floor of my grandma’s breezeway. That was the first time I felt whatever it is I felt... tricked, humiliated... such a little t trauma but still it stuck. This morning I feel chaos, this morning I feel the flick and flutter of each of those 52 pieces of laminated paper... the swirl of flight, the reflection of lights at all angles. The cards settle, they always do, but now I have to pick em all up and organize the deck again.